| Issue | #83 |
| Published | April 1977 |
| Cover Price | .30 USD |
| Pages | 36 |
| Editing | ? |
| Notes | Continuing the parody of "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman." |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Veronica Lodge; Jughead Jones; Archie Andrews |
| Genre | teen; humor; soap opera |
| Pencils | Stan Goldberg |
| Inks | Rudy Lapick |
| Notes | Continuing the parody of "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman." |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Veronica Lodge; Jughead Jones; Archie Andrews; Sam Mullins (a patient in Archie's room) |
| Synopsis | When the kids go to visit Archie in the hospital, they learn he's never been at that hospital and his room is occupied by someone else for over a month. A nurse's aide then tells the kids in secret that Archie was kidnapped by Fatima Dezire, who offered the hospital $30 million dollars to take Archie and pretend he was never there. |
| Genre | teen; humor; soap opera |
| Script | Frank Doyle |
| Pencils | Stan Goldberg |
| Inks | Jon D'Agostino |
| Colors | Barry Grossman |
| Letters | Bill Yoshida |
| Characters | Li'l Jinx; Hap Holliday (her dad) |
| Synopsis | When Li'l Jinx is home sick, Hap gets tired of waiting on her every need. |
| Genre | children; humor; gags |
| Script | Joe Edwards |
| Pencils | Joe Edwards |
| Inks | Joe Edwards |
| Letters | Joe Edwards |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Fatima Dezire; Archie Andrews; Jughead Jones; Veronica Lodge |
| Synopsis | While Archie bemoans his new circumstances as a member of Fatima's male harem, Betty, Veronica and Jughead fly to his rescue. They hire a guide who secretly works for Fatima. He forces Jughead out into the desert alone without water, while taking Betty and Veronica to Fatima at gunpoint. |
| Genre | teen; humor; soap opera |
| Script | Frank Doyle |
| Pencils | Stan Goldberg |
| Inks | Jon D'Agostino |
| Colors | Barry Grossman |
| Letters | Bill Yoshida |
| Notes | Betty's financial thoughts maze. |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Veronica Lodge; Jughead Jones; Archie Andrews; Fatima Dezire; The old man from the antique store |
| Synopsis | Jughead's camel comes back for him while Archie sees that Fatima also has Betty and Veronica. The girls walk around the village when Betty recognizes the old man from the antique store who helped her. He sells Betty and Veronica a old lamp that holds a genie in it... one who is very attracted to Betty. |
| Genre | teen; humor; soap opera |
| Script | Frank Doyle |
| Pencils | Stan Goldberg |
| Inks | Jon D'Agostino |
| Colors | Barry Grossman |
| Letters | Bill Yoshida |
| Characters | Betty Cooper |
| Notes | Includes a Statement of Ownership on the last 1/3rd of the page. |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Veronica Lodge; a genie; Jughead Jones; Mabel (Jughead's camel); Archie Andrews |
| Synopsis | Jughead and his camel get the upper hand on the lecherous genie and force him to use his magic to save Archie. the genie conjures a magic carpet that gets Archie and the kids back to the airport where the Lodge jet is ready for takeoff. |
| Genre | teen; humor; soap opera |
| Script | Frank Doyle |
| Pencils | Stan Goldberg |
| Inks | Jon D'Agostino |
| Colors | Barry Grossman |
| Letters | Bill Yoshida |