| Issue | #85 |
| Published | July 1977 |
| Cover Price | .35 USD |
| Pages | 36 |
| Editing | ? |
| Notes | Continuing the parody of "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman". |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Archie Andrews; Veronica Lodge; Jughead Jones; Sing Lho; Long Ghon; Albert; 2 unnamed crooks |
| Genre | teen; humor; soap opera |
| Pencils | Stan Goldberg |
| Inks | Rudy Lapick |
| Colors | Barry Grossman |
| Notes | Continuing the parody of "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman". |
| Characters | Josie McCoy; Alan M. Mayberry; Alexander Cabot III; Valerie Brown |
| Synopsis | Alex tries to sabotage Alan M. and Josie as they try to finish a dance marathon for some Hostess Twinkies. |
| Genre | teen; humor |
| Pencils | Dan DeCarlo |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Archie Andrews; Veronica Lodge; Jughead Jones; Smithers; Albert |
| Synopsis | An unnamed sea merchant sells Archie a jewel called "The Eye of Howja Du" and Archie starts talking in cryptic prose as long as he holds it. Albert, Betty and Veronica are walking when Betty says Veronica is getting fat, even though Betty swears she didn't say anything. And Jughead gets locked in a freezer when a couple of crooks steal all the frozen lasagna in the grocery store. |
| Genre | teen; humor; soap opera |
| Script | Frank Doyle |
| Pencils | Stan Goldberg |
| Inks | Jon D'Agostino |
| Colors | Barry Grossman |
| Letters | Bill Yoshida |
| Characters | Li'l Jinx, Fat Charley Hawse |
| Synopsis | Li'l Jinx is late meeting Charley Hawse again, which is strange because her watch is brand new. |
| Genre | children; humor; gags |
| Script | Joe Edwards |
| Pencils | Joe Edwards |
| Inks | Joe Edwards |
| Letters | Joe Edwards |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Sing Lho; Long Ghon; Veroncia Lodge; Archie Andrews; Hiram Lodge; Smithers; Albert; Jughead Jones |
| Synopsis | 2 assassins who are after "the Eye" follow Archie to the Lodges' home and present themselves as representatives from the United Nations. Jughead's wallet is stolen by the 2 crooks who stole the frozen lasagna, and they plant it at the scene of a car crash, hoping the cops will blame him. And Albert causes more trouble with his ventriloquism. |
| Genre | teen; humor |
| Script | Frank Doyle |
| Pencils | Stan Goldberg |
| Inks | Jon D'Agostino |
| Colors | Barry Grossman |
| Letters | Bill Yoshida |
| Characters | Betty Cooper |
| Notes | Betty tries to help readers with their problems. |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Archie Andrews; Sing Lho; Long Gohn; Hiram Lodge; Hal Cooper; Alice Cooper; Albert; Jughead Jones |
| Synopsis | The 2 assassins become guests of the Lodges' home. Betty discovers Albert's power and figures out that he was the one that said the horrible things to Veronica, mimicking Betty's voice. Jughead manages to start a small fire in the freezer and uses it to keep warm and cook food, just as the police find him there and take him to jail. |
| Genre | teen; humor; soap opera |
| Script | Frank Doyle |
| Pencils | Stan Goldberg |
| Inks | Jon D'Agostino |
| Colors | Barry Grossman |
| Letters | Bill Yoshida |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Veronica Lodge; Archie Andrews |
| Synopsis | Betty tries to set a romantic mood for Archie, who's coming to her house for a TV dinner. |
| Genre | teen; humor |
| Pencils | Chic Stone |
| Colors | Barry Grossman |
| Letters | Bill Yoshida |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Betty Cooper |
| Genre | teen; humor |
| Pencils | Dan DeCarlo |
| Colors | Barry Grossman |
| Letters | Bill Yoshida |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Albert; Sing Lho; Long Gohn; Archie Andrews; Hiram Lodge; Veronica Lodge; Jughead Jones; Reggie Mantle |
| Synopsis | Betty gets revenge on Albert by throwing her voice as well. Sing Lho and Long Ghon decide to stay in America rather than kill Archie and return to poverty. Jughead is released from jail when the cops find the real crooks who are stealing all the frozen lasagna, and Archie throws away the "Eye of Howja Du" and starts talking normally again. |
| Genre | teen; humor; soap opera |
| Script | Frank Doyle |
| Pencils | Stan Goldberg |
| Inks | Jon D'Agostino |
| Colors | Barry Grossman |
| Letters | Bill Yoshida |
| Notes | The final panel contains Reggie's only appearance in the entire "Betty Cooper, Betty Cooper" arc. |